I did have to call my grandma which ended in an argument and she called me mean and why don't I talk to her as she's my mother. ![]() Now I was supposed to call them this weekend but that knocked the wind out of me and is causing me some stress over having to talk about the test and have to put my mother's anxiety to ease, go through an interrogation etc when all I want is to just chill and not have to talk to anyone. Then recently I decided to go for the ADHD and some cognitive tests which unfortunately means I had to ask her about some childhood questions and she called me at work - I had to put her anxiety at ease, she told me "maybe I am just tired" and "maybe it's just burn out" and dad went into explaining me how he had this things since his late teens and told me stories about himself. She then weeks later decided to ask me about my finances and how she thought I would have more money at the end of them month than that which made me defensive and deflecting. I also feel that everytime I talk to them, I feel like I am not really enough, no matter what I say or do, they have to add to, they make fun of me mispronouncing words in my native tongue to the point my mother pushes them as me being wrong even though I can prove with a dictionary I am not and I tried to put a boundary there and explain, calmly, why it bothers me to which she said "i forgot I can t joke with you, whatever, I am done talking about this". Then as I was preparing to buy a house with my bf, they started having all sorts of advice for the build but would get really upset or angry if I didn't follow it and on the day the sale went through and i called them to tell them, my mother decided to remind me of my past mistakes and of my ex which I was in an abusive/toxic relationship with which brought my mood down. They tended to keep me on call for hours so I would need to block an evening for it whcih wouldn't be a big issue but anyways. Then after that I have been reluctant to talk to them but picked up calling them again weekly via Facetime. This is mostly because with distance, some of their behaviours seemed more obvious and I started getting really upset after talking to them - be it they say something racist, give me some terrible piece of advice (like sleep my way to promotion), remind me of all my mistakes, make fun of me for "having forgotten" how to speak my native tongue, get upset with me over not wanting the colour of walls in the house to be the one they want etc.Īft some point in the first year we had an argument when was the first time I even attempted to say anything back in my life - basically I was opening up my bf's PC at the time and I texted my dad that I was doing it and he told me to make sure it's unplugged to which I said "Oh really?" and that escalated quickly with them basically saying I am being insolent, didn't speak to me for a couple of days and when they did, my mother's first words to me were a sarcastic "are you still upset?". I used to call my family quite a bit in the beginning but then as time went by, I started sort of losing the mental capacity to do it. ![]() I (F31) have moved to another country about 4 years ago. So I have the classic "Am I the AH" dilemma in regards to my family.
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